Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request you to change my department from payroll to sales, as I feel this is important for my career progression.

I have learned a lot in my present department. Working as a payroll clerk with the amazing and experienced team helps me to learn multiple things. This department not only helps me to develop critical thinking skills and but also build my good relation across the whole company.

Recently, I have finished my advance diploma in sales and I want to apply, whatever I have learned. As, I am already in contact and familiar with both the employees and clients of the company. This would help me to increase sales for the company.

I do not want to change the organisations because of the long time trust and relationship, I had build across the company. The supportive environment and lucrative benefits will not allow me to leave such renowned organization.

Thank you for taking my request into consideration.

Yours sincerely,

David Watson

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have successfully addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outlined your learning in the payroll department, explained the benefits of your transfer to the sales department, and provided a strong rationale for remaining with the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, you could provide a specific example of a sales project or a particular skill from your diploma that would directly benefit the new department. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphing that separates the different requirements of the prompt. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Recently', 'As', and 'This would help' to connect your ideas. However, the flow between some sentences is slightly mechanical. For example, the transition between your diploma completion and your familiarity with clients could be smoother. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'this', 'that') is always precise to avoid any ambiguity. The overall progression of ideas is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career progression', 'critical thinking', and 'lucrative benefits'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'build my good relation' (should be 'build good relationships') and 'I had build' (should be 'I have built'). Additionally, 'advance diploma' should be 'advanced diploma'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate that you are still developing your control over more complex collocations. Focusing on accurate word forms and common business collocations will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully convey your message, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'I am writing to request you to change my department' is slightly awkward; 'I am writing to request a transfer' would be more natural. You also have errors in verb tense and agreement, such as 'helps me to learn' (should be 'has helped me learn') and 'I had build' (should be 'I have built'). Despite these errors, the meaning is always clear, and the punctuation is generally accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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