Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request a transfer within the company. I want to move from payroll department to sales team. I think this change would play a vital role in my career progression.

I have learned a lot in my current role. Working with such a experienced team has helped me to develop critical thinking and build professional relationships across the company.

I have recently completed my advanced diploma in sales and eager to apply my new skills. Since, I already familiar with both the employees and clients of the company. This would help me to increase our sale revenues.

I do not want to leave the organisation because of long-term trust and relationships, I had built over the period of two years. The supportive environment and lucrative benefits such as high wage, vacation pay and insurance from a renowned establishment would not allow me to quit.

Thank you for taking my request into consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Dave Wilson

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide reasons for wanting to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, when mentioning how you would increase sales revenue, you could briefly specify how your new diploma skills would be applied to the sales team's current challenges. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraph breaks that separate the different requirements of the task. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'I am writing to', 'I have learned', and 'I do not want to'. While the flow is generally smooth, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be improved with more sophisticated linking words or phrases to better connect your professional development to the company's benefit. The use of referencing is clear, and the overall progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career progression', 'professional relationships', and 'lucrative benefits'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'high wage' (usually 'high salary' or 'competitive compensation') and 'since, I already familiar' (which is a grammatical error affecting lexical flow). While you use some less common vocabulary, there is room to incorporate more precise collocations to enhance the professional tone. The vocabulary is adequate to convey your meaning clearly without any significant confusion for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical slips that occur throughout the text. For example, 'Working with such a experienced team' should be 'an experienced team', and 'Since, I already familiar' is missing a verb ('I am already familiar'). Additionally, the sentence 'I do not want to leave the organisation because of long-term trust and relationships, I had built over the period of two years' contains a comma splice and an unnecessary tense shift. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading of basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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