Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request a transfer within the company. I want to move from the payroll department to the sales team. I think this change would play a vital role in my career progression.

I have learned a lot in my current role. Working with such an experienced team has helped me to develop critical thinking and build professional relationships across the company.

I have recently completed my advanced diploma in sales and am eager to apply my new skills. Since I am already familiar with both the employees and clients of the company. This would help me to increase our sales revenues.

I do not want to leave the organisation because of the long-term trust and relationships , I had built over the period of two years. The supportive environment and lucrative benefits such as competitive pay, vacations, and insurance from a renowned establishment would not allow me to quit.

Thank you for taking my request into consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Dave Wilson

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide a convincing rationale for remaining within the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter, and the purpose is clear from the outset. To reach a higher band, you could further develop the 'benefits' section by providing more specific examples of how your sales diploma will directly impact the company's bottom line, rather than just stating it would increase revenue.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. Each paragraph focuses on a single theme, which aids readability. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Since' and 'because of' to link ideas. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, there is a minor punctuation error in the final paragraph where a comma is placed before a relative clause unnecessarily. Improving the variety of linking words would help the flow feel more professional and less mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message clearly. Phrases like 'career progression', 'lucrative benefits', and 'renowned establishment' are well-chosen and appropriate for the context. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or idiomatic business expressions. For instance, instead of 'I have learned a lot', you could use 'I have gained invaluable insights'. The current vocabulary is functional and accurate but lacks the 'less common' flair required for the highest bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are error-free, which makes the letter easy to follow. However, there is a sentence fragment in the third paragraph: 'Since I am already familiar with both the employees and clients of the company.' This should be joined to the following sentence. Additionally, the phrase 'I had built' in the final paragraph should be 'I have built' to maintain consistent tense usage. Despite these minor slips, your control over grammar is generally strong.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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