Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. John,

I hope this message finds you well.

I am writing this letter to discuss about the career development. I am writing in particular because I have to change the department in the same company.

First, I would like to tell you I have learned various things in my present job. Coding is the best part of my outgoing job. I would therefore appreciate it if you could change my department.

Secondly, I would like a mention I have a problem solving skills and I am interesting in sales team. I would therefore appreciate if you could help me out to sort this.

Finally, regarding this company gives me everything and also stands with me my bad times. Ideally, So I will give you my best in another department as well. I believe this would benefit for you.

I hope you will consider my request and take the necessary action. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Yours faithful,

Thomson

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mention your experience in coding, explain the benefits of moving to the sales department, and express your loyalty to the company. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is vague; you mention 'problem solving skills' but do not elaborate on how these would specifically add value to the sales team. To improve, ensure that your arguments are fully extended with specific examples or clearer reasoning to demonstrate a more professional tone.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your intent. You use basic transition words like 'First', 'Secondly', and 'Finally' to structure your points. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the transition 'Ideally, So I will...' is grammatically awkward and confusing. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking phrases and ensure that the logical progression between sentences is smoother and more natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and professional tone expected in a formal business letter. Phrases like 'help me out to sort this' and 'stands with me my bad times' are too informal and slightly inaccurate in this context. You rely on simple, repetitive structures. To improve, try to incorporate more professional collocations related to career development and workplace dynamics. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you convey your message with greater clarity and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are several grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'discuss about the career development' (remove 'about'), 'I am interesting in sales team' (should be 'interested in the sales team'), and 'benefit for you' (should be 'benefit you'). You rely mostly on simple sentence structures. While you attempt some complex sentences, they often contain errors in word order or preposition usage. Increasing your control over basic grammar and punctuation, as well as practicing more complex sentence structures, will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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