Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

hope this message finds you well.

I am writing this letter to discuss about the career development. I am writing in particular because I have to change the department in the same company.

First, I would like to tell you I have learned various things in my present job. Coding is the best part of my outgoing job. I would therefore appreciate it if you could change my department.

Secondly, I would like a mention I have problem solving skills and I am interesting in sales team. I would therefore appreciate if you could help me out to sort this.

Finally, regarding this company gives me everything and also stands with me during bad times. Ideally, So I will give you my best in another department as well. I believe this would benefit you.

I hope you will consider my request and take the necessary action. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Yours faithfully,

Thomson

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mentioned your current skills (coding), suggested how the company would benefit (problem-solving skills in sales), and explained your loyalty to the company. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited. For example, the explanation of how the company would benefit is vague; you could have elaborated on how your coding background would specifically add value to the sales department. To improve, ensure that your ideas are fully extended rather than just stated, as this would help you move into a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices like 'First', 'Secondly', and 'Finally' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the transition 'Ideally, So I will give you...' is grammatically awkward and confusing. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression within the paragraphs could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is clear would improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic. You rely on simple phrases such as 'tell you', 'learned various things', and 'help me out'. There is little attempt to use less common or more precise professional vocabulary suitable for a formal letter to a manager. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'outgoing job' (which usually refers to a person leaving, not a job) and 'stands with me during bad times'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more professional collocations and precise terminology related to career development and corporate environments.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For instance, 'discuss about the career development' (should be 'discuss my career development'), 'I am interesting in sales team' (should be 'interested in the sales team'), and 'regarding this company gives me everything' are grammatically incorrect. Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is often repetitive. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately without errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.