Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing you regarding a request according to my job description. I am working in this buying house as a assistant manager since 2024 round about pervious two yeas.

I have had learned several work experinces in my department. In addition, I have significant experince in IT and I believe I can much better performance in operations department. Furthermore, it is crucial for my career development and I can show you better progress about my related work.

Consequently, I do not leave my company because I learned numerous work experinces in this company and satisfied to my current position. At the other hand I have several other oppurtunities but I prefred to my current position Although this office location is near to my home and convineint for me.

I hope you consider to my request I am looking forward of your answer.

Yours faithfully,

Peter,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited. For instance, you mention having 'significant experience in IT' but do not explain how this would specifically benefit the operations department. The ideas are presented in a very brief manner, which prevents a more thorough exploration of the topic. To improve, try to provide concrete examples of your skills and explain the 'why' behind your suggestions in more detail to ensure the reader fully understands your professional value.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'Consequently' to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'At the other hand', which should be 'On the other hand'. Additionally, the flow between sentences is occasionally choppy due to the limited complexity of the sentence structures. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the transition between your current experience and your future goals is smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'experinces', 'oppurtunities', 'prefred', and 'convineint', which occur frequently. Furthermore, some word choices are unnatural, such as 'buying house' or 'I can much better performance'. To improve, you should focus on learning the correct spelling of common professional terms and practice using collocations—words that naturally go together—rather than translating directly from your native language. Expanding your range of professional vocabulary will help you express your ideas more clearly and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'I am working... since 2024 round about pervious two yeas' (should be 'I have been working... for the past two years') and 'I am looking forward of your answer' (should be 'looking forward to your answer'). There are also issues with verb forms and prepositions throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic tenses, particularly the present perfect for duration, and practice subject-verb agreement. Incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, would also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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