Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Simon,

I am writing to express my interest in Shoppers Drug Mart, and willing to transfer from Beauty department next month.

Since I have been working with your company from last two years, therefore, I am extremely delighted to express my gratitude for this opportunity. Through this position, I have highly enhanced my communication skills, as the primary part of my job is to interact with the customers. Apart from that, while working as a Senior Manager I have gained various leadership as well as administrative skills.

Transitioning within the company would definitely help the organization, as I am well-aware of the company's policies and procedures. Moreover, being in good-terms with our customers' would eventually help the company to save their customers' and also, they will not be offended by the hiring of new employees.

Working with one of the best teams has really enabled me to work independently for the company, which is why I wish to continue to work with all of you.

Thank you for your consideration, and do let me know if you have any questions related to my my new position in the company.

Yours sincerely,

Manphool Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned (communication, leadership, and administrative skills), explained the benefits to the company (retention of knowledge and customer rapport), and expressed your desire to remain with the organization. However, the tone is slightly inconsistent; for instance, the opening sentence is vague regarding the specific department you wish to join. To improve, ensure your ideas are more fully developed. For example, when mentioning the benefits to the company, you could provide a more concrete example of how your specific skills would translate to a new department, rather than relying on general statements about company policies.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with clear paragraphing. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Since', 'Apart from that', and 'Moreover' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced, such as the use of 'therefore' after 'Since' in the second paragraph, which creates a redundant structure. Additionally, the referencing in the third paragraph regarding 'save their customers' is slightly unclear and could be phrased more naturally. Overall, the progression of ideas is easy to follow, and the letter maintains a professional flow throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, using terms like 'administrative skills', 'transitioning', and 'gratitude'. There are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'willing to transfer' (which is grammatically incomplete) and 'being in good-terms with our customers'. The phrase 'save their customers' is also slightly awkward in this context. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise professional collocations and ensuring that your word choices are idiomatic and natural for a formal business letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'working with your company from last two years' should be 'for the last two years'. There is also a punctuation error with the unnecessary comma after 'customers'' in the third paragraph. Additionally, the phrase 'my my' in the final paragraph is a minor slip. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and preposition usage to improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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