Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request an internal transfer from my current position as a Facility Supervisor to the Nursing HR department as a role of Assistant HR Manager. Having worked for the organization for the past two years, I believe this move would be an important step in my career development while also benefiting the company.

During my time as a Facility Supervisor, I have gained valuable experience in managing staff, coordinating daily operations, resolving workplace issues, and maintaining high standards of service. I have also developing strong communication, leadership, and organizational skills by working closely with employees, managers, and external service providers. These responsibilities have given me a good understanding of effective staff management and teamwork within a organization.

I believe transferring to the Nursing HR Department would benefit the company because I could apply my existing supervisory experience to recruitment, employee relations, staff scheduling, training, and performance management. Furthermore, my knowledge of the company's policies, procedures, and workplace culture would allow to adapt quickly to the new role and contribute effectively from the beginning.

Although, I am keen to develop my career, I have no desire to leave the organization. I have enjoyed working here and have developed a strong sense of loyalty to the company. I particularly appreciate the supportive working environment and the opportunities I have received to improve my professional skills. I hope to continue my career within organization.

I would be grateful if you could consider my request and discuss this opportunity with me.

Yours faithfully,

Vijay

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outline the skills gained in your current role, provide a logical justification for how the company would benefit from your transfer, and express your commitment to the organization. The tone is professional and appropriate for a formal request to a manager. The ideas are well-developed and the purpose of the letter is clear from the opening paragraph. You have fully met the requirements of the task by providing sufficient detail for each point, ensuring the reader understands both your professional history and your future aspirations within the company.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0

The letter is well-organized with a clear logical progression. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which makes the information easy to follow. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Although', and 'During my time' to link ideas effectively. The paragraphing is logical and contributes to the overall flow of the letter. The transition between your current experience and your future potential in the new department is smooth, and the conclusion provides a polite and professional closing to the request.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary suitable for a professional context, such as 'internal transfer', 'professional skills', and 'workplace culture'. There is a consistent use of appropriate terminology related to HR and management. While the vocabulary is effective, there are minor slips, such as 'within a organization' (should be 'an organization') and 'allow to adapt' (missing the object 'me'). Despite these minor inaccuracies, the range is sufficient to convey your meaning with precision and style, and the tone remains consistently formal throughout the letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a variety of complex sentence structures, such as 'Having worked for the organization for the past two years, I believe...' and 'I have also developing strong communication...'. However, there are some grammatical errors that slightly detract from the accuracy. For example, 'I have also developing' should be 'I have also developed', and 'Although, I am keen' contains an unnecessary comma. Additionally, there are minor article errors, such as 'within organization' instead of 'within the organization'. Despite these slips, the majority of your sentences are error-free, and the meaning is never obscured.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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