Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

This letter is regarding a request of department change within our company.

I have been associated with the organization for the past two years within our financial department as an analyst and this opportunity has helped me improve my financial and analytical skills. This position has also taught me how to succeed in a competitive environment while working with the team which lead to the development of leadership qualities which I did not have before.

Academically, I have minor qualification in finance with my major being in economics and I recently gained a lot of new certifications of new and updated software such as power BI and Tableau required for an economic analyst position. I believe that I will be a great fit in our economic department as I have the necessary experience and knowledge required to perform the job.

I do not wish to leave the company as this organization and management has trusted me for the past 2 years and also supported me in my bad times.

In conclusion, I hope that you will consider my request and help me in the process if my request is approved.

Thank you

Yours faithfully

Aditya

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have successfully addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outlined your current skills, explained the benefits of your transfer to the economic department, and provided a personal reason for wanting to stay with the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, ensure that the benefits to the company are more explicitly linked to the company's goals rather than just your own qualifications. For example, explaining how your new software skills will increase departmental efficiency would strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter follows a logical structure with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the task, which makes the progression of ideas easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In conclusion' and 'This position has also taught me', to link your ideas. However, the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases to connect sentences more fluidly. Some transitions feel slightly mechanical, but the overall organization is clear and effective for a formal letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'associated with the organization', 'analytical skills', and 'competitive environment'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'minor qualification' (which is slightly vague) and 'bad times' (which is a bit informal for a professional letter). To improve, try to incorporate more precise professional collocations. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'I believe that I will be a great fit... as I have the necessary experience'. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'which lead to' (should be 'which led to') and 'certifications of new and updated software' (a bit clunky). Punctuation is generally functional, though some sentences could be tightened for better clarity. The errors present do not impede communication, but you should focus on subject-verb agreement and more varied sentence construction to achieve a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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