Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Jhon

I hope you are doing well. I am Ben, one of the employee of your organization. I am writing this email as, I need to change in the other department.

I am part of this company since last two years, I have been working in management department, I find this area nice and peaceful for work. I have had learned so many good things from the department such as; time management, Punctuality also I was so terrible in money management, through this department I have developed this skill too. I am grateful of this area for this. However, now I want to change my department of work in this company, As I need to learn various thing and grow my self in the organization.

I want to work in HR (Hiring department). It is beneficial to me as well as our company. I have degree in HR field, also I had placements for one year so have good amount of experience of this field. Moreover, I have good skill of communication. I have got some offers from different companies for this position but I want to stay here, because this organization made me what am I today. It helps me grow.

Thank you for your time, please consider my request.

Yours faithfully

Ben green.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role (time management and money management), explain the benefits of your transfer to the HR department, and provide a valid reason for wanting to stay with the company. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move could be more detailed, focusing on how your specific skills would add value to the HR team rather than just stating you have a degree.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'Therefore', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. The paragraphing is sufficient, but the flow between sentences within the second paragraph is slightly disjointed due to punctuation errors and run-on sentences. Improving the use of linking words to connect your past experience to your future goals would enhance the overall progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'organization', 'punctuality', and 'communication'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'I am part of this company since last two years' (should be 'have been with this company for the last two years') and 'I had placements' (should be 'I completed an internship'). Some errors, like 'I am grateful of this area', are slightly unnatural. While your meaning is always clear, the range is limited and lacks the precision required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('one of the employee'), article usage ('the management department'), and punctuation errors, particularly with comma splices and capitalization. For example, 'I am writing this email as, I need to change in the other department' contains unnecessary punctuation and awkward phrasing. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on sentence boundary control and basic verb tense consistency will significantly improve your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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