Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

DEAR SIR....

I AM writing a letter to inform you that, I hope you are doing well . I am working in your company before two years ago and now i tell you something about this job i have been learned in your company some basic skills and i have two years experience in your company . but i move on a different department now for benefits . i am so excited and happy from moving different department . I learned skills in this company and achieve better results. i feel very disappointed to leave this company .

YOUR FAITHFULLY

JYOTI SHARMA

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you have attempted to address the three bullet points, the content is extremely brief and lacks the necessary detail to be considered a fully developed response. For instance, you mention learning 'basic skills' but do not specify what these are or how they relate to your career development. Similarly, the suggestion regarding company benefits is vague. To improve, you must expand on each point with specific examples and professional explanations to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a clearer purpose.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The letter lacks a clear structure and appropriate paragraphing. The ideas are presented in a disjointed manner, making the progression of the argument difficult to follow. There is a lack of cohesive devices (such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition') to link sentences logically. The opening and closing salutations are also incorrectly formatted for a formal letter. To improve, you should organize your thoughts into distinct paragraphs: one for the introduction, one for each bullet point, and one for the conclusion, using transition words to connect your ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying on basic words like 'job', 'company', and 'learned'. There is little evidence of the range required for higher bands. Phrases such as 'I am writing a letter to inform you' are functional but basic. The misuse of 'disappointed' to describe your feelings about leaving the company is also confusing, as you likely meant you would be 'sad' or 'reluctant' to leave, yet you are actually requesting a transfer. You need to incorporate more professional and varied vocabulary related to workplace environments and career progression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that impede clarity. Examples include 'I am working in your company before two years ago' (incorrect tense and preposition usage) and 'i move on a different department' (incorrect preposition). Sentence structures are simple and often lack proper punctuation, such as the inconsistent use of capital letters and missing commas. The lack of complex sentence structures limits your ability to express more sophisticated ideas. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and correct tense usage before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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