Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am expressing my interest in developing myself to the other department, mainly towards sales and marketing side in this letter.

If I generate my views to the current allotment for being consistent employee as a receptionist, then I particularly enjoyed working in this area, especially treating customer requirement so elegantly without any complaint. Therefore, it deliberately helped me to get enough experience and knowledge from our seniors.

Meanwhile, allowing me to change my position could indirectly get benefit to our company in every aspect such as customer satisfaction, and encouragement for them get any solutions. However, many of them defined sometimes about my marketing skills, while helping some of our staff members when they got stuck. As a result, this approach could be convenient for getting higher sales market in future.

Undoubtedly, the firm has already given me everything which often help me to be adaptive in certain cases. So, I do not want to leave it so soon.

I hope you understand my ideas appropriately.

Your faithfully,

Dhaval Thakkar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you learned as a receptionist, suggest how the company would benefit from your move to sales, and explain your loyalty to the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is slightly vague and relies on awkward phrasing. To improve, ensure your arguments are more clearly articulated and directly linked to the specific requirements of the task. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though some expressions are slightly unnatural.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your points. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Therefore', 'Meanwhile', and 'As a result' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'Meanwhile' at the start of the second paragraph, which does not fit the context of moving to a new topic. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, making the flow feel a bit forced. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. Phrases like 'developing myself to the other department' and 'treating customer requirement so elegantly' are unnatural and imprecise. You attempt to use some more formal vocabulary, such as 'adaptive' and 'convenient', but these are not always used in the correct context. To reach a higher band, focus on learning common collocations used in professional business correspondence, such as 'transferring to a different department' or 'gaining valuable experience'. Avoid over-using general words and try to be more specific about your professional skills.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'encouragement for them get any solutions' is grammatically incorrect, and 'many of them defined sometimes about my marketing skills' is confusing. There are also issues with article usage and preposition choice throughout the letter. While your meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately to avoid confusion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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