Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. Sahil,

Greetings of the day. I hope this letter finds you in best of health and spirits. I am writing to request to shift in different department within the company.

It is being two years, I am being in the company as a builder desk associates. Since I started to work here, I have learnt a lot related to materials that are used in a construction in this region. Moreover, with the help of my seniors, I have understand the customer service techniques at the back counter and manage the store at the personal level.

While I have acknowledged all the roles and responsibilities of a builder desk associates, I believe it is important for my career growth to start my learning in other department for instance, working with carpenter at construction site that will broaden knowledge in field of building construction. Therefore, it would benefit the company too by availability of potential worker for a whole-rounder work.

Since my graduation in construction estimator, this company have gave me opportunity to work as a fresher. Taking care of employees' needs and a friendly work environment is are the factors that I do not wish to leave this company.

I hope you will thinking on it and I look forward to your favorable response on it.

Yours faithfully,

Manpreet Singh Bawa

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, suggest how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explain your loyalty to the firm. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. However, some ideas could be developed further; for instance, the explanation of how the company benefits from a 'whole-rounder' is a bit vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are fully extended with specific details rather than general statements. Overall, the purpose of the letter is clear and the requirements are met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'While', and 'Therefore' to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes slightly mechanical or misused, such as the transition in the third paragraph. Additionally, there are some minor issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as the awkward phrasing in the opening. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, though it lacks the sophisticated flow required for higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'responsibilities', and 'favorable response'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'builder desk associates' (likely 'building desk associate'), 'manage the store at the personal level', and 'whole-rounder work'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do show a lack of precision. To improve, focus on learning common collocations used in professional business correspondence and ensure you are using the correct terminology for your specific job role.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have frequent grammatical errors, such as 'It is being two years', 'I have understand', 'this company have gave me', and 'is are the factors'. These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of these slips prevents the writing from being considered error-free. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage, particularly when describing past experiences and current states of employment.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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