Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to inform you regarding my transfer from my current position to a different department as I feel that it's time for me to grow in my field, as it will help me with career progression. The current position has taught me various skills like marketing, interpersonal and database management, which would help for my upcoming position in Human Resources Management.

The organisation would also get benefitted as my experience as a "Data Manager" made me work in various difficult setups and handle teams and assign tasks across the various departments in the company. This organisation is like a second home, I'd always be grateful for the higher executives for giving my career a chance to work at such an esteemed organisation, and for hiring a fresher like myself and transforming me into the professional individual that I am today. I really would appreciate your prompt response on my transfer approval. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Your's faithfully,

Deeksha Deshpande

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state the skills learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and express your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat brief. For instance, while you mention 'marketing' and 'database management', expanding slightly on how these specific skills would translate to the Human Resources department would have provided a more persuasive argument. Overall, the task is fulfilled effectively, and the purpose of the letter is clear from the beginning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'The organisation would also get benefitted' and 'as well as' to link ideas. However, the paragraphing is slightly unbalanced; the second paragraph is quite long and contains several distinct ideas that could have been separated for better readability. Additionally, some transitions between sentences feel a bit mechanical. Improving the use of linking phrases to connect your gratitude for the company with your desire for career progression would enhance the flow and make the progression of ideas more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career progression', 'esteemed organisation', and 'interpersonal'. There are some minor collocation issues, such as 'get benefitted' (should be 'benefit') and 'assign tasks across the various departments'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your message clearly, it lacks the variety and precision required for a higher band. To improve, try to incorporate more precise professional collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. The tone remains consistently formal, which is a strength in this context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'I am writing to inform you regarding my transfer...' and 'This organisation is like a second home, I'd always be grateful...'. There are a few grammatical slips, such as the comma splice in the second paragraph ('...second home, I'd always be grateful...') and the incorrect possessive 'Your's' in the sign-off (should be 'Yours'). Despite these errors, the meaning is never obscured, and the grammar is generally functional. To reach a higher band, focus on correcting punctuation errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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