Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Noah,

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inform that I am interested for internal hiring in our repair department as Team lead. As, I have been with company for almost 2 years as a warehouse associate which give me the opportunity to qualify for the role.

Moreover, I have previous workplace under the same job title for 2 years. Furthermore , my education background perfectly align with the job description. I have also earned Millwright skill trade license from the government of Ontario.

Additionally, I am aware and known to our companies policy and SOP needed while performing any job duties.

However, the reason I don't want to the company is the benefits they provide and it's near to my house which saves my travelling time.

Could you please schedule an interview so that I can prove myself as the best candidate for the job posted.

Once again thank you for your time and consideration.

Regards,

Bhoutik

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points in the prompt, which is a positive start. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention your education and license, you do not clearly explain what you have learned in your current role as a warehouse associate. Similarly, the suggestion of how the company would benefit from your move is vague; you focus more on your own qualifications than on the specific value you would bring to the repair department. To improve, ensure each point is fully expanded with specific examples or clear reasoning to demonstrate a more professional and persuasive tone.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, and the use of transition words like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'Additionally' helps to guide the reader. However, some of these devices feel slightly mechanical or are used incorrectly, such as the transition 'However' used to introduce the final reason for staying, which does not fit the context of the preceding paragraph. The paragraphing is generally appropriate for a formal letter, but the flow between ideas could be smoother. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used to logically connect ideas rather than just acting as list markers will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to communicate your message, including terms like 'internal hiring', 'job description', and 'SOP'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'I am aware and known to our companies policy' (should be 'familiar with') and 'I don't want to the company' (missing a verb like 'leave'). There are also minor errors in collocation and word forms. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise professional terminology and ensuring that your word choices are natural and grammatically accurate in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

Your writing shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('which give me' instead of 'gives'), missing articles ('with company' instead of 'with the company'), and incorrect preposition usage ('interested for' instead of 'interested in'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, article usage, and prepositions, and proofread your work to catch these slips before finalizing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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