Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter to request you to allow me work in various departments which I found essential for my career.

I am Tabassum, and I am working in your industry as sales associate. Throughout that position I learn how to do hands-up behavior with customers, stocking items where are they needed and I could able to handle financial matter. Thus, this status assisted me to improve basic skills which as a manager should have.

Moreover, I would prefer to work as a manager in our company now. Because, according to the policy of our business, managers should be able to speak French and English to handle customers which I am. As a result, this would be beneficial for you business's sales and profits, because I have built idea about marketing in certain sessions.

Apart from this, it would be a great opportunity for me if you allow me to work on that position in our different location. Because, lack of staff and technologies, I would not be able obtain more knowledge to be a successful store manager.

Thank you for consideration. I look forward to your prompt action.

Yours faithfully,

Tabassum.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, suggest how the company benefits from your move, and explain your desire to stay. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation regarding the benefits to the company is slightly confusing, as you transition from discussing your current role to suggesting you should be a manager, which is a significant leap not fully supported by the context. To improve, ensure your arguments are more logically connected and clearly explained to the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure of your request. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Thus', and 'Apart from this' to link your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing. For instance, the transition in the final paragraph regarding the 'lack of staff and technologies' is unclear and does not effectively support your argument for moving to a different location. Improving the use of linking words will help your ideas flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'career development', 'financial matter', and 'beneficial'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'hands-up behavior' (likely meaning 'hands-on experience') and 'built idea about marketing'. These errors occasionally make your meaning slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise professional terminology and ensuring that your word choices are appropriate for a formal business letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'allow me work' (should be 'allow me to work'), 'I could able to' (should be 'I am able to'), and 'you business's sales' (should be 'your business's sales'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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