Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear mam,

I am working in your company Australian concept infertility center for two years. I was appointed as medical coordinator in coordination department. Being working as a medical Coordinator in your company, I came to learn about history taking of different patients, prescribing them medical investigations, referring them to the senior medical specialist and in outpatient department, made them examine by medical consultants. Now I want to work as an operation theater Coordinator as I want to learn about OT procedures and medications prescribing to the patients there. I would like to experience about surgical skills in your company rather than any other center as I like the friendly environment in your company and also honorable relation between boss and employees which makes me to continue working in the same company.

I am very hopeful that you will consider my request and make me working in the department of my choice.

Thanks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your current experience, explain the benefits of your transfer, and express your loyalty to the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention learning about 'history taking' and 'medical investigations,' the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move to the operation theater is quite brief and could be more persuasive. To improve, try to elaborate on how your existing skills as a medical coordinator would add value to the new department, rather than just focusing on what you want to learn.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter follows a logical progression, moving from your current role to your future aspirations and reasons for staying. However, the paragraphing is insufficient; the entire body of the letter is presented as one large block, which makes it harder to read. Using clear paragraph breaks between the introduction, the body points, and the conclusion would significantly improve the structure. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures and lack a variety of linking words or transition phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher bands. You use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'in your company' and 'medical coordinator.' There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'honorable relation between boss and employees' and 'made them examine by medical consultants.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more professional terminology suitable for a formal letter, such as 'professional rapport' instead of 'honorable relation' or 'facilitated consultations' instead of 'made them examine.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The letter contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentences, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'Being working as a medical Coordinator' (incorrect participle usage), 'medications prescribing to the patients' (incorrect verb form), and 'make me working' (incorrect infinitive structure). Furthermore, the opening 'Dear mam' is informal and contains a spelling error ('ma'am'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of gerunds and infinitives.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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