Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Steven,

I'm writing this letter to request my transfer to Diagnosis department. When I joined ALS Global as a fresher and a recent graduate back in 2024 unable to perform basic titrations. However, under your tutelage I have learned many skills which include DGA (dissolved gas analysis), mastered operating ICP-OES and analyzing all chromatographic spectrums. So, this is the right time for me to move to Analyzing team.

Recently, I discovered there is a vacancy available for diagnostician position with hands on experience within the lab. I believe that I fulfill all the requirements and it would be much easier for you just transfer me instead of hiring a new person. Moreover, I can use my technical skills which I learned online as a Passion.

Spending two years without any promotion at one place is not only because I got to learn new things perhaps, mainly due to the work environment. whether, it's my colleagues or individuals from other departments all treat every one with good behavior and respect.

I believe you will understand the importance of my career and approve my request. hope to hear from you soon.

Best regards,

Shoaib.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outlined your current skills, explained the benefits to the company, and expressed your loyalty to the organization. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the explanation of how the company benefits is a bit brief and could have been more persuasive by focusing on how your specific technical expertise would add value to the new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though some phrasing is slightly informal or awkward, which impacts the overall professional impact of your request.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'Therefore', to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as the transition in the third paragraph starting with 'Spending two years...'. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, and the paragraphing, while present, could be more effectively managed to ensure a smoother progression of ideas. Overall, the message remains easy to follow despite these minor mechanical issues.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including industry-specific terms like 'titrations', 'DGA', and 'chromatographic spectrums'. You attempt to use more sophisticated language, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'as a Passion' or 'Analyzing team' (which should likely be 'the Analysis department'). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'unable to perform basic titrations' which lacks a subject. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band score. Expanding your range of formal business collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include sentence fragments ('When I joined... unable to perform...'), missing articles ('for diagnostician position'), and incorrect verb forms ('just transfer me instead of hiring'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors is noticeable and suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of sentence construction and subject-verb agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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