Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Mr. John,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you in regard to my interest in changing the department I am working in because I think it is essential for my professional progress.

I have been a software developer in the sales department for two years. As a result, I have become familiar with every part of the project, and there is nothing new for me to develop in this section.

However, I believe by moving to a new part of the corporation I will be able to challenge myself with new problems which will yield to progress in my expertise. Besides, I can be beneficial to the new section by providing my experience from the sales department.

Moreover, I would like to mention that I do not wish to leave this association due to the sense of commitment. In addition, this company has been genuinely comforting, safe and joyful. This is feeling that I had not experienced in my previous jobs.

I hope my request can be granted. I am looking forward to hearing back from you.

Yours sincerely,

Thor

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response7.0
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource6.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy7.0
Overall7.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and express your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific examples of the skills you have acquired in the sales department or detail exactly how your transfer would benefit the new department, rather than using general statements like 'providing my experience'. This would demonstrate a more thorough development of your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the task. You use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Besides', and 'Moreover' to link your ideas. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be improved to better connect the idea of 'challenging yourself' with the 'benefit to the company'. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and the progression of ideas is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. Phrases like 'professional progress', 'genuinely comforting', and 'yield to progress' show an attempt to use more sophisticated language. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'yield to progress' (which is slightly unnatural; 'lead to' or 'facilitate' would be better) and 'this association' (which sounds a bit formal or slightly off-context for a company). Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to career development would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your grammar is generally accurate. Most sentences are clear and easy to understand. There are a few minor errors, such as 'This is feeling that I had not experienced' (missing an article: 'This is a feeling') and 'the department I am working in' (which is grammatically correct but could be more formal, e.g., 'the department in which I am currently employed'). Your control of punctuation and sentence structure is sufficient to ensure that communication is never impeded.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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