Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to request a department change within the company for my career advancement in the field.

In the current position, I have possessed number of skills. First of all, working in a fast paced production line trained me as a good time organizer to improve productivity. Last but not least, the designation of a tooling inspector require not only precise operations but also ask efforts for employee's safety. In brief, the role taught me safety, time-management and confident personality.

Above mention characteries are highly desired for the position of a maintenance technician. You will have a candidate who is familiar with the department and the company. Furthermore, I would also apply my existing industrial knowledge to solve a problems as well aquainted about the types of machineries in our department.

Rather than changing the company, I would like to get promoted within the organiztion. This is because of the firm hired me as a fresher which is rarely occuring in the market. Hence, I would like to show my loyalty to the employer.

Looking forward to your positive response. Please contact me, if you require further information.

yours sincerely,

Steve

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits to the company, and provide a valid reason for wanting to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit could be more specific regarding how your current skills would translate to the maintenance department. Overall, the purpose of the letter is clear and the requirements are met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Furthermore', and 'Hence' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the skills learned and the application for the maintenance role is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the overall progression of the letter is easy to follow, which supports the communication of your message.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'career advancement', 'productivity', and 'industrial knowledge'. There are some noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'Above mention characteries' (should be 'mentioned characteristics'), 'as well aquainted' (should be 'as well as being acquainted'), and 'rarely occuring' (should be 'rarely occurs'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precision. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise collocations would help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'I have possessed number of skills' (missing article 'a'), 'designation... require' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'the firm hired me as a fresher' (awkward phrasing). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your intent. To reach a higher band, you should focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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