Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear sir

I writing to express my concern regarding to change the department in our company . Presently I'm working in bmt unit and i learned alots of things here and staff and management department also manageable and cooperation but I want to change my department due to future growth .i learned each and every things in my department and i freely handle everything . although my wishes i gaining more knowledge and explore new innovative ideas as well as new department . You know very well my performance is overall good since 2 years .so it's humble request to you please please my department in company and i provide more acceptable results. It would be greatly appreciated and give feedback as soon as possible

Faithfully

Arti sharma

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: what you have learned, the benefits of moving, and why you wish to stay. However, the response is significantly under the 150-word minimum, which limits the development of your ideas. For example, your explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is quite vague ('provide more acceptable results'). To achieve a higher band, you need to expand on these points with specific examples or professional justifications. Additionally, the tone is slightly informal for a formal request to a manager, and the structure lacks a proper formal closing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The letter lacks clear paragraphing, which makes the text appear as a single block. While there is a logical progression of ideas, the use of cohesive devices is very limited. You rely on simple conjunctions like 'and' and 'so' rather than using a variety of linking words to connect your thoughts. To improve, you should separate your points into distinct paragraphs (e.g., one for your achievements, one for your proposal, and one for your commitment to the company) and use transition signals such as 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' or 'In addition' to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'each and every things' and 'staff and management department also manageable' are imprecise and do not reflect the professional tone required for a formal letter. There are also issues with word choice, such as using 'manageable' when you likely meant 'supportive' or 'efficient'. To improve, you should focus on using more precise business terminology and avoid informal phrasing. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you express your professional goals more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the letter, including issues with verb tense ('I writing'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'so it's humble request to you please please my department in company'. These errors occasionally impede the flow of communication. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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