Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope this email finds you well! I am writing this letter to express my interest towards moving to different department since I already completed two years last December.

This organisation has thought me several skills which helped me to foster my confident, better team building, escalation management and many more. Moreover, due to various projects changes and training facilities being in role for more than 2 years, I gained capabilities to move to Relationship Manager department with in the company to take extra responsibilities and provide other services to clients.

It would be great advantage to the company since I would bring a lot of business to company while interacting with the clients more closely and convincing them to invest more in our bank to receive better benefits and rewards.

Finally, I would always like to stay connected with company roots due to the friendly environment, better employees satisfaction in terms of providing benefits, looking after team building and also good yearly increments.

I hope you will look into my request and support me for this move.

Yours sincerely,

Anjali Reddy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide reasons for wanting to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, some ideas could be more fully developed. For instance, while you mention 'escalation management' and 'team building', providing a specific example of a project or achievement would have strengthened the response. Overall, the purpose of the letter is clear and the requirements are met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Finally', and 'It would be great advantage', which help the flow of ideas. However, the transition between sentences could be smoother in places, and some cohesive devices are used slightly mechanically. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different points, making the letter easy to follow for the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'career development', 'escalation management', and 'yearly increments'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'thought me' instead of 'taught me', 'foster my confident' instead of 'foster my confidence', and 'better employees satisfaction' instead of 'better employee satisfaction'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring word forms are used correctly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'interest towards moving' (should be 'in moving'), 'different department' (missing article 'a'), and 'with in the company' (should be 'within'). Additionally, there are minor issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. While these errors are frequent, they do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To improve, pay closer attention to prepositions and article usage, and try to vary your sentence structure further.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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