Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope this email finds you well! I am writing this letter to express my interest in moving to different department since I already completed two years last December.

This organisation has taught me several skills which helped me to foster my confident, better team building, escalation management and many more. Moreover, due to various project changes and training facilities being in role for more than 2 years, I gained capabilities to move to the Relationship Manager department with in the company to take extra responsibilities and provide other services to clients.

It would be great advantage to the company since I would bring a lot of business to the company while interacting with the clients more closely and convincing them to invest more in our bank to receive a better benefits and rewards.

Finally, I would always like to stay connected with the company roots due to the friendly environment, better employee satisfaction in terms of providing benefits, looking after team building and also good yearly increments.

I hope you will look into my request and support me for this move.

Yours sincerely,

Anjali Reddy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt effectively. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide reasons for wanting to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, when mentioning 'escalation management,' you could briefly explain how this specific skill would translate to the Relationship Manager role. Overall, the purpose of the letter is clear, and the requirements are fully met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'Finally,' and 'due to' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more distinct to separate the three required points more clearly. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences, such as the one regarding 'various project changes,' are slightly cluttered, which affects the flow. Improving the variety of linking words would help the progression feel more natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'escalation management,' 'organisation,' and 'career development.' There are some minor inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'foster my confident' (should be 'confidence') and 'receive a better benefits' (should be 'receive better benefits'). While you attempt to use more sophisticated business terminology, the phrasing is occasionally slightly unnatural. Focusing on correct collocations and ensuring nouns and adjectives are used accurately will help you move into a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'moving to different department' (missing article 'a'), 'with in the company' (should be 'within'), and 'provide other services' (which is slightly vague). Some sentences, like the one beginning 'This organisation has taught me,' are grammatically sound, but others contain minor errors in prepositions and article usage. To improve, focus on proofreading for small errors in articles and prepositions, which would make your writing more polished and accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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