Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear manager,

I am writing to moving my position to OA department. i writing regarding my current position is in production section but i have recently persuead masters degree in quality control. so, i request you to promote me in QA department.

Firstly, in my current job i have gain exprience in controlling production line and managing employee under me. recently i have recived masters degree in QA, i would appreciate if you promote me in QA section of company.

Secondly, masters have polished my skills on quality control. i would be grateful to work and give good results and with my current job experience and skills i have developed i will a great asset for organization.

Although, i have been getting offers from deffrent company still i do not want to leave this organaization because their is a friendly enviroment and co-workers are good too.

I hope you will consider my request and take action on it, i look foreword to hear from you.

Yours faitefully

paresh patil

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: it mentions learning in the current role, suggests benefits to the company, and explains the desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the mention of the Master's degree is repeated in both the first and second paragraphs, which makes the argument feel slightly circular. To improve, you should provide more specific examples of how your current skills in the production line would translate into value for the Quality Assurance department, rather than just stating you would be an asset.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, and the use of transition signals like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Although' helps guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and sentence structure. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter, but the internal cohesion is sometimes mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother to ensure a more professional tone throughout the correspondence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several spelling errors, such as 'persuead' (pursued), 'exprience' (experience), 'recived' (received), 'deffrent' (different), 'organaization' (organization), and 'foreword' (forward). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. While you use some relevant terminology like 'quality control' and 'production line', the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, you should focus on accurate spelling and incorporating more sophisticated collocations related to professional career development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the quality of the writing. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('i writing', 'masters have polished'), missing articles, and incorrect verb forms ('I am writing to moving'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization of the pronoun 'I'. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of basic grammatical slips prevents the writing from reaching a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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