Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear John,

This letter is being written by me, a determined employee currently working as a supervisor in the packing department,to express my desire to hold a position of assistant manager in a proficient manufacturing unit of our company as a recent internship after the one year diploma from a recognized university has been completed by me.

Initially, I would like to thank my company management for teaching me skills in the packing department about inventory management, timely stock clearance,dispatch of goods and dealing calmly with team members.

Regarding the positive points our company would accumulate by promoting me to this designation would be the latest techniques and skill execution learned by me to enhance production.Along with this,new raw materials, cotton and silk,would be employed by me to follow the latest fashion trend marking new supply to market by our firm.

Lastly, my expectations to remain connected with this organization arise from the fact that a well achieved reputation from long term working develops the core attachment as well as bright future prospects ensured by the company for every department and standard of labour make my thoughts to remain positively connected with this company.

Hoping to receive a positive reply from you soon.

Yours Sincerely,

Patrick.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly identified the skills learned in your current role, explained the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provided reasons for wanting to stay. However, the tone is occasionally inconsistent with a formal letter to a manager. For instance, the opening sentence is overly wordy and passive, which detracts from the professional impact. To improve, ensure your ideas are presented more directly. The development of your points is generally relevant, though the connection between your new skills and the specific 'cotton and silk' materials could be more clearly linked to the company's broader goals.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Initially', 'Along with this', and 'Lastly' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal flow of sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words rather than relying on simple additive connectors. Referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are quite long and complex, which occasionally makes the progression of ideas feel slightly cluttered.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'inventory management', 'stock clearance', and 'future prospects'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'accumulate' when referring to benefits, or 'designation' when 'position' or 'department' would be more natural. Additionally, the phrase 'well achieved reputation' is not standard collocation. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, you should focus on using more precise collocations and professional business terminology to reach a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a variety of complex sentence structures, but there is a heavy reliance on passive voice, which makes the writing feel somewhat stiff and less engaging. For example, 'This letter is being written by me' and '...has been completed by me' are grammatically correct but stylistically awkward. There are also some minor punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas. While your grammar is generally accurate and does not impede communication, the overuse of passive constructions limits the natural flow and variety of your writing. Aim for more active voice to improve clarity and impact.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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