Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope this message finds you well. I started my carrier as a Pharmacy Assistant L1 with your company for 2 years now. Within experience, I got a chance to familiar with the healthcare system in your company.

During my job, I have learnt basic skills that are required to start a carrier in pharmacy . I learn about packaging the medicine and labelling it, also how to corporation with team members.

The best part within your company is the system that how it works and for that I want to upgrade my level as pharmacy assistant L2 which is data entry.

The advantage for your company is it will going to save your time as I am working for 2 years and I passed level 1 which is essential for a growth to have that basis knowledge. It will help for company growth.

The obvious reason for stay with your company is having a good team members and collaboration, which is essential step to bring success to the company . Second, your company provides a good revenue. Therefore, I want to apply for further position and I promise I am willing to provide the opportunity for the company.

Thankyou for considering my application and I look forward to working together.

Best regards,

Riya

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, when explaining how the company would benefit, you mention saving time but do not elaborate on how your specific experience would translate into efficiency in the new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though some phrasing is slightly informal or unclear, such as 'I promise I am willing to provide the opportunity for the company.' To improve, ensure your arguments are more fully extended with specific examples of how your skills transfer.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a specific part of the prompt. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'During my job,' 'The advantage for your company,' and 'Therefore.' However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For instance, the jump from discussing your desire to upgrade to level L2 to the benefits for the company could be smoother. Paragraphing is used correctly to separate the different points, which helps the reader follow your argument. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between ideas is more clearly signposted.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your intentions clearly. You use some relevant industry-related terms like 'packaging,' 'labelling,' and 'data entry.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'I started my carrier' (career), 'familiar with' (familiarise myself with), and 'how to corporation' (cooperate). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit your score. To improve, focus on learning the correct collocations for professional contexts and proofread carefully to avoid common spelling mistakes like 'carrier' instead of 'career'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with verb tense ('it will going to save'), subject-verb agreement ('having a good team members'), and article usage ('the system that how it works'). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement. Practising the correct use of future tenses and prepositions will also help you achieve a more professional tone and higher accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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