Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Noah,

I hope this message finds you well. I have been working with Drive medical for almost 2 years as a Team lead. I was thinking to update my career by applying in our returns department as there is a vacancy for supervisor post.

While working I have developed various skills and also excel in almost all of them such as time management, task management, supervising staff and also managing inventory. Moreover, I have also completed my course of supply chain management and project management. Also, I have mastered in using our SAP software which we use for our warehouse management.

Additionally, If company would do internal transfer they would save some money which they spent on new intern or employee training. Furthermore, I have also completed my safety training at the workplace which would exempt me from re-training on it.

Lastly, I don't wish to leave the company as it has given me many chance of growing my skills and help me develop positive attitude towards my job.

Thank you for the time and consideration. Looking forward to your prompt response.

Best Regards,

Bhoutik Gohil

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task. You clearly outlined your current skills, explained the benefits to the company, and stated your reasons for wanting to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how the company benefits could be more persuasive by focusing on how your specific skills would add value to the returns department, rather than just focusing on cost-saving. Overall, the response is relevant and fulfills the requirements of the prompt effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the prompt. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore' to link your ideas. However, the flow is occasionally slightly mechanical. Some transitions feel a bit repetitive, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between your skills and the benefits to the company could be more integrated. Overall, the information is easy to follow and the progression is logical.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including industry-specific terms like 'inventory', 'supply chain management', and 'SAP software'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'update my career' (better: 'advance my career') and 'mastered in using' (should be 'mastered the use of'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the variety and precision required for a higher band. Using more sophisticated collocations would enhance the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'applying in our returns department' (should be 'applying to'), 'If company would do' (should be 'If the company were to'), and 'has given me many chance' (should be 'many chances'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article errors throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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