Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Ellie,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter with regard to change my department in your company.

As you know, I am working at Home Depot as a cashier for the last 2 years and have learned a lot in this department. Now, I would like to move to the customer service department in your company to enhance my knowledge.

I would assure you that this transfer of department will be beneficial for the company too. Because after working as a cashier, I learnt how to deal with clients. My 2 years of experience would be useful to talk with them in the customer service department.

No doubt, I got many offers from another companies, but I do not want to leave this company because I have good relations with my colleagues. Apart from that, the location of this company is pretty close to my home, which takes only 10 minutes to come.

I would be grateful if you would accept my request.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Kamal

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned as a cashier, explain the benefits of your transfer to the customer service department, and provide valid reasons for wanting to stay with the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To improve, you could expand slightly on the specific skills gained in your current role to make the argument for your transfer more compelling. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point from the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Apart from that' and 'Because', though the transition between sentences could be more varied. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider range of linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas flows more naturally between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'transfer', and 'beneficial'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'with regard to change' (should be 'with regard to changing') and 'another companies' (should be 'other companies'). The vocabulary is generally functional and clear, but it lacks the sophistication or precision required for higher bands. Focusing on more precise collocations and avoiding basic grammatical errors in word forms will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'I am working... for the last 2 years' (should be 'have been working'), 'I learnt how to deal' (should be 'I have learned'), and 'takes only 10 minutes to come' (should be 'takes only 10 minutes to commute'). These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing your control over verb tenses and prepositions will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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