Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

Most respectfully, I have an urgent piece of decision ,which cannot be fulfil without your approval. I am a dedicated employ in your company , in Sales department , but now I have to gain experience in marketing. This is the reason I want to change the department to flourish my profesion.I have significant communicating skills, and have the ability to work individually and as a part of a team. I am very enthusiastic in practicing in Marketing, and contribute to your company more efficiently.

I have opportunities in other companies as well, but I do not want to leave your company. As, I have learnt a lot under your kind supervision and support. I will be very thankful to you if you give me the opportunity to work in marketing department. I am very hard working and and have the ambition to learn more.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours Obediently,

Maqbool Ahmad.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points, though the development is somewhat limited. You mention what you have learned in your present job, but the explanation is quite vague ('I have significant communicating skills'). You suggest how the company would benefit from your move, but this could be more specific regarding the marketing department's needs. The reason for staying is clear, but the overall tone is slightly informal for a formal request. To improve, ensure each point is expanded with concrete examples or professional justifications to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your intent. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as starting a sentence with 'As, I have learnt...'. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is functional but lacks sophistication. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that transitions naturally into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, though there are several errors in word choice and spelling that slightly hinder the professional tone. For instance, 'employ' is used as a noun instead of 'employee', and 'profesion' is misspelled. Phrases like 'flourish my profesion' are slightly unnatural in this context. While you attempt to use more formal language, the control is inconsistent. Focus on learning the correct collocations for professional correspondence and proofreading for basic spelling errors to improve your precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the flow. Issues include incorrect article usage ('in Sales department'), subject-verb agreement, and punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in 'decision ,which'. Additionally, the phrase 'cannot be fulfil' is grammatically incorrect (should be 'fulfilled'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring verb forms are used correctly in passive and active constructions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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