Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing this letter to make a request regarding the change of my department from Human resources to Quality department. I have been working as a bilingual payroll associate from past two years. Well, I want to grow in the quality sector as my recent certifications are cleared and approved by the company's director.

I have learned a lot from the HR management in term of working in hectic schedules to arranging annual company gatherings. The important aspect of my job was patience and concentration to look into every single detail while making the pay checks. I am blessed that I got the chance to work in a company, which offers to work with different cultures.

Apart from my previous work experience, I now have a recommended degree to work in quality department. I assure you that I will ace this department with all the experience I got while working in this company.

Looking forward to a positive response.

Yours sincerely,

Harman

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and imply your loyalty by expressing a desire to remain within the organization. However, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. For example, while you mention learning to work in 'hectic schedules,' explaining how these specific skills would translate to the quality department would have strengthened the argument. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though it could be slightly more professional in its structure and persuasive language.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Apart from' and 'I am writing this letter to,' which provide a clear structure. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is a bit abrupt. The flow could be improved by using more sophisticated linking words to connect your past experience directly to your future potential in the new department. Paragraphing is used correctly, and the overall progression of ideas is easy to follow, though the logical links between sentences could be more varied.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'bilingual payroll associate' and 'career development.' There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'my recent certifications are cleared' (should be 'completed' or 'obtained') and 'ace this department' (which is slightly informal for a formal request). While you successfully convey your meaning, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the precision or 'less common' items that would elevate the score to a higher band. Expanding your range of professional collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'from past two years' (should be 'for the past two years') and 'in term of' (should be 'in terms of'). Additionally, the phrase 'which offers to work with different cultures' is slightly awkward; it would be better phrased as 'which offers the opportunity to work in a multicultural environment.' While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and prepositional usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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