Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir,

abc company,

Respected Sir,

Good afternoon, sir, I hope you're doing well. I Dainna Aslam Haider have been working in your company, and it has been such a wonderful time and love each day. I work as media reporter which has been great for as I am in this department for more than 2 years.

I would like to change my department for the myself as i want to be in marketing department. as I have degree in media and marketing, and I want to grow and learn, I would request you to please look at this matter as I want to stay here and learn and I don't want to go in any other company even. I love the place, people and environment of the company and more over I am really happy with salary package I get, I just want to switch my department for some change for myself.

I will be really Thankfully this .

Dainna Haider

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development is quite limited. You mention your current role as a media reporter, but you do not specify what you have actually learned in the last two years. Similarly, while you suggest moving to the marketing department, you do not explain how the company would benefit from this move, focusing instead only on your own desire for change. To improve, you should provide concrete examples of skills gained and explain how your background in marketing would add value to the company's goals. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the structure is slightly informal.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is somewhat disjointed. You use basic connectors like 'and' and 'as', but there is a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices to link your arguments logically. The paragraphing is inconsistent, and the opening is cluttered with unnecessary details like 'abc company' and a repetitive salutation. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and use a wider range of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' to guide the reader through your reasoning.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is functional but basic and repetitive. You rely on simple phrases like 'wonderful time', 'great', and 'happy'. There are also some awkward collocations and phrasing, such as 'I will be really Thankfully this'. You attempt to use relevant terminology like 'marketing department' and 'salary package', but the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise professional vocabulary related to career development and workplace contributions, and ensure your word forms are accurate (e.g., using 'thankful' instead of 'thankfully').

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with sentence structure, punctuation, and article usage. For example, 'I Dainna Aslam Haider have been working' lacks necessary commas, and 'I don't want to go in any other company even' is phrased awkwardly. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or conditional sentences to explain your motivations more professionally.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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