Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to express my desire to get a promotion in my employment to a Team lead department.

I am working as an Assistant Leader in marketing department from last two years. In this role, I cultivated the experience of how marketing department works and the important of this sector for the organization development. Moreover, I learned and gained several skills including team work, conflict management, professional approach to solve the conflict among the team members, how to get best performance from each team member. I would appreciate you to considered me to get promoted to Team Lead position of Marketing department. My valuable knowledge and experience gained over the last few years would benefit the organisation. Since, I have worked with almost all the company's client . Additionally, it would also save the new recruitment procedure.

Companies work environment, employee benefits, and growth development opportunities are the main reasons I want to continue with the company and not want to resign.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I would really appreciate you to consider my application. I look forward to receiving an official promotion offer from you.

Yours faithfully,

Faizal Vohra

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mentioned your learning in the current role, suggested benefits for the company regarding a move, and explained your loyalty. However, the task asks for a move to a different department, but your letter inconsistently asks for a 'promotion' to a 'Team lead department' within the same marketing area. This creates some confusion regarding your actual goal. To improve, ensure your ideas are more clearly developed; for instance, explaining exactly how your marketing experience would specifically benefit a new department would strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening and closing. Paragraphing is used to separate your points, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as starting a sentence with 'Since, I have worked...' or the abrupt transition in the third paragraph. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the connection between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher band. Using a wider variety of linking words would improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cultivated', 'organization development', and 'professional approach'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'get a promotion in my employment' (instead of 'seek a promotion') and 'important of this sector' (instead of 'importance'). Additionally, 'growth development opportunities' is slightly redundant. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing. Focusing on natural collocations and word forms will help you move to a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'from last two years' (should be 'for the last two years'), 'I would appreciate you to considered me' (should be 'I would appreciate it if you would consider me'), and 'Companies work environment' (missing possessive apostrophe). While these errors rarely impede the reader's understanding, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms after 'appreciate', and the proper use of articles and possessives.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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