Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear manager

I hope you are doing well. I writing this letter regarding my position in this company.

I have been working with this company for now two year in sales department as a sales man. I have learned several things while working as a sales person such as, managing finance, product management and some other essential things. I have been always interest in Technical department since I have stated my career with this company. Moreover, I have done my graduation in computer science field as well. So that, it will be very convenient for me to start my career in technical area.

Additionally, This will be beneficial for our company and future projects. In the meantime, I will also contribute my knowledge in sales department if needed.

I would like to stay in this company, as it has been growing every year, which will gain my experience and fulfill my financial needs.

Thank you so much for you time. I look forward to hearing you with positive news.

Yours faithfully,

Jaimin Padhiyar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the technical department, and provide reasons for wanting to remain with the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is quite brief and could be further elaborated with specific examples of how your computer science background would add value to current technical projects. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter, though the opening 'Dear manager' is slightly informal; 'Dear [Name]' or 'Dear Hiring Manager' would be more professional.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with clear paragraphing. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'In the meantime' to link your ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by minor mechanical errors in sentence construction. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better connect your personal career goals with the company's needs. Overall, the progression of ideas is easy to follow, and the letter maintains a consistent focus throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development,' 'essential,' and 'convenient.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'I writing this letter' (should be 'I am writing') and 'gain my experience' (should be 'enhance my experience' or 'gain experience'). You also use 'sales man' instead of the more professional 'sales representative.' While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more specific professional collocations would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that detract from the overall quality. Examples include 'for now two year' (should be 'for two years'), 'I have been always interest' (should be 'I have always been interested'), and 'So that, it will be' (should be 'Therefore, it would be'). Additionally, there are punctuation and article errors, such as missing 'the' before 'sales department' and 'technical area.' While these errors rarely impede the reader's understanding, they indicate a lack of control over complex structures, which prevents a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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