Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear madam,

I am writing to discuss about the possibility of moving to different department within similar company. I am working here from two years. I think it is significant for my career growth to move in another section.

During this time of working in this field, I learned valuable things such as teamwork , coordination, listen others perspectives . apart from this, its helps me to improve my communication skills that will beneficial for my career.

I believe company will have various benefits by transferring me to another department. firstly, I have current experience so it will save time and money in training. secondly, I already know the company policies, regulation and work culture. It will helps to increase the productivity as well as performance.

I prefer to work in same company because it gives me additional benefits such as health insurance good wages and I have lot of experience in it. It gives me a lot opportunities , whereas, in another company i have to learn everything frpom starting.

thank you

your fathfull

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits to the company, and provide reasons for wanting to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat basic. For instance, when discussing what you have learned, you list 'teamwork' and 'coordination' without providing specific examples or context. To reach a higher band, you should expand on these points with more detail. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, although the opening and closing salutations need to be more conventional for a professional context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'apart from this' to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, the paragraphing is a bit inconsistent in terms of structure. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your message, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'valuable things', 'good wages', and 'lot of experience'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'discuss about' (should be 'discuss the possibility') and 'similar company' (should be 'the same company'). To improve, try to incorporate more precise professional vocabulary related to career development and workplace skills. Spelling errors, such as 'frpom' and 'fathfull', also detract from the professional quality of the letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses ('I am working here from two years' should be 'I have been working here for two years'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement errors ('It will helps'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with commas and capitalization. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.