Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope you are doing well. I have been working in your team as a supervisor for two years. I have learnt a lot from this post, such as discipline, teamwork, coordination, and how to tackle any work situation with calmness and patience. When I started this work, I did not know about advanced skills, which are now at my fingertips. As I do my job with proper dedication and determination, I want to achieve big in my life. I do not want to be stuck in one position. So, I have a request for you to give me promotion to assistant manager. At present, I have all the qualities to handle work issues and ideas for the growth of the company. I do not wish to leave the company because all the staff and management are fantastic at work. Second, I have learnt various skills here that are beneficial for me in my future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed all three bullet points in the prompt, which is a strength. However, the task specifically asks you to request a move to a different department, whereas your letter focuses on requesting a promotion to 'assistant manager'. This is a significant deviation from the prompt's instructions. While you mention wanting to move to a different department, your primary focus is on a promotion within your current team. To improve, ensure you strictly follow the specific scenario provided in the task. The ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat limited, as the letter feels quite brief and lacks the professional depth required for a formal request of this nature.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is generally coherent, and the progression of ideas is logical. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'At present', 'Second', and 'So' to link your thoughts. However, the paragraphing is insufficient; the entire body of the letter is contained within a single block. For a formal letter, you should separate your introduction, the main body points, and your closing into distinct paragraphs to improve readability. Additionally, some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Using a wider variety of linking words and better paragraph structure would significantly enhance the flow and professional tone of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dedication', 'determination', and 'coordination' appropriately. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are some awkward collocations. For example, 'achieve big in my life' is informal and not standard professional English. Similarly, 'at my fingertips' is an idiom that does not quite fit the formal context of a letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise, professional vocabulary and avoiding overly casual phrasing. Your spelling is accurate throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is always clear, there are some grammatical inaccuracies. For instance, 'I have learnt a lot from this post' is slightly unnatural; 'position' or 'role' would be better. You also have some minor errors in article usage and preposition choice. The sentence 'I did not know about advanced skills' is grammatically correct but lacks sophistication. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence forms, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, and pay closer attention to professional tone and word choice to ensure your grammar supports a formal register.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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