Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Wilson,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in switching into a different department within the company. I have been working in my current role as administrator for almost two years and I think it would benefit the company as well.

To begin with, I have acquired several roles and responsibilities in my present job. Firstly, I have handled multiple meetings with clients, prepared minutes of meetings, provided training and registering new employees. In addition to this, I have also assisted the payroll department on various occasions in processing the pay cheques of multiple employees at once.

Moving on, shifting to a payroll or human resource department will provide me with an opportunity to learn new roles. Moreover, I will be a great asset to either of the departments because in the past I have assisted them whenever someone was on vacation. Since I have worked for so long in this company I am quite familiar with the way this company operates and do not wish to leave the company.

I would be grateful if you consider my request. I look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

Susan sana

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully addressed all three bullet points in the prompt. You clearly outlined your current responsibilities, explained the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provided a valid reason for wanting to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, ensure that the connection between your current skills and the new department is more explicitly detailed. For example, you mention assisting payroll, but you could elaborate on how your specific administrative experience would streamline their current processes, thereby strengthening the 'benefit' argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use transition signals such as 'To begin with', 'In addition to this', and 'Moreover' to guide the reader through your points. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary your cohesive devices and ensure that the progression of ideas flows more naturally between paragraphs. For instance, the transition 'Moving on' is a bit informal for a business letter; a phrase like 'Regarding my future development' would be more professional and cohesive.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'acquired', 'responsibilities', and 'opportunity'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and repetitive phrasing. For example, 'switching into a different department' is acceptable, but 'transferring to' is more precise in a professional context. Additionally, you use the phrase 'the company' repeatedly in the final paragraph, which limits your lexical variety. Incorporating more sophisticated synonyms or referencing the organization as 'the firm' or 'the business' would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. There are a few grammatical slips, such as 'provided training and registering new employees', where the parallel structure is broken; it should be 'provided training and registered new employees'. Another error is 'if you consider my request', which should be 'if you would consider' or 'if you could consider' to maintain the correct conditional mood. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the writing from reaching a higher band of accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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