Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir,

i am writing in respect to my present department of work, i have worked in this area of the company for more than two years now i have leant a lot as a potter in the hospitality industry, how to check in quest and also checking them out in the facility.

it will be of the company interest if am transferred to serve in the front office as a receptionist owing to fact that i have been trained on the rudiment of front office procedures and it will give me the opportunity to learn more about it by so doing front office would not be experiencing the the manpower issues during business hours.

As a matter of fact, i so much desire this establishment based on what i have achieved through it, and the name it has build over time i would not want leave it for others hence i am appealing to be transferred other department to gather new knowledge as to better the interest and also build my career.

i will be grateful if my request is considered.

your faithfully,

mr James Odi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience as a porter, explain the benefits of your transfer to the front office, and express your loyalty to the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company benefits from your transfer is a bit repetitive and lacks specific detail regarding how your existing skills would translate to the new role. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended with concrete examples or professional reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes mechanical. There is a lack of varied linking words to connect your ideas smoothly; for example, the transition between your current experience and the request for transfer could be improved with better signposting. Additionally, the punctuation is inconsistent, with several run-on sentences that make the flow of ideas feel disjointed. Improving your use of transition words and sentence structure will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your request clearly. You use some industry-specific terms like 'hospitality industry' and 'front office procedures'. However, there are instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'it will be of the company interest' instead of 'it would be in the company's interest' and 'rudiment' instead of 'fundamentals'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your word forms are accurate. Expanding your range of professional vocabulary will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have frequent errors in basic grammar, such as capitalization ('i' instead of 'I'), subject-verb agreement, and missing articles. Additionally, there are several run-on sentences where clauses are joined incorrectly with commas, such as in the first paragraph. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impede the overall fluency of the letter. Focus on proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization errors to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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