Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

SUPERVISOR : MANAGING SCHDEULES , KEEP EYE ON INVENTORY , SOLVE KITCHAN AND FRONT PROBLEM EITHER RELATED TO CUSTOMER OR RELATED TO THE FOOD. MOVING TO DIFFERENT DEPARTMENT HELP YOU TO KNOW ABOUT BOTH DEPARTMENT

AS I STARTED MY JOB CAREER HERE

Dear Head Officers,

I am writing this to request you shift me from kitchen supervisor to manager as not only this will helpful for my growth but also may beneficial to overall well-being of the store.

Being a kitchen manager, I have learnt handeling inventory, solve issues related to food while tasting them which allow me deal with customer in various kind of argument and make schedule of employees according there performance on either peek hours of work or having less customers.

Because of these reasons company may reduce the expenses to pay to the less-productive workers, and also having less complaints from customers may leads to set positive image of out store among socieity.

As I have started my job career here, so I do not want to leave this company because I have so many emotional feelings attach with it.

Thank you

Gurpreet kaur

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points: skills learned, benefits to the company, and reasons for staying. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how the company benefits from your move is a bit vague, focusing on general cost reduction rather than specific departmental synergy. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening paragraph contains some disjointed notes that should have been integrated into the body of the letter rather than appearing as a header. To improve, ensure that each point is expanded with more specific examples or professional reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'Because of these reasons'. The opening section, which appears to be a list of notes, disrupts the flow and should have been incorporated into the main text. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between sentences could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in addition') would help to improve the overall flow and coherence of the writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'handeling', 'socieity', 'peek') and awkward collocations (e.g., 'emotional feelings attach with it'). While the message is clear, the range of vocabulary is limited to basic business terms. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary related to professional development and workplace management, and pay closer attention to spelling and word formation to ensure your writing appears more professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'not only this will helpful' (missing 'be'), 'may beneficial' (missing 'be'), and 'leads to set positive image' (should be 'leads to setting a positive image'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.