Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir

I am writing to request transfer to procurement department from my current project monitoring department, which I believe would be helpful for both company and my career. I have been working in my current department for almost five years and completed three projects. In this period I have developed strong knowledge in supply chain management and time management. From this experience I realized that procurement process needs to start early for timely completion of a project. Also some of the procurement need to be flexible to ease the project work. I believe working in procurement will give chance to apply my experience gathered from project works, which will benefit the company.

I enjoy working for this company for its healthy work environment, financial benefits and future prospectus. I believe this company will grow faster in foreseeable future and I want to keep working here.

I therefore request you to consider me for procurement department and give me the chance to grow and develop my skills which will ultimately benefit our company.

Yours faithfull

Jamil

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned (supply chain and time management), explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and express your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. However, the development of ideas is somewhat brief. For instance, while you mention that procurement needs to be 'flexible,' expanding slightly on how your specific project experience would solve a current procurement challenge would have made the argument more persuasive and fully developed, moving the response into a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate the different requirements of the task. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In this period' and 'I therefore,' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally a bit mechanical. To improve, you could use a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases to create a more natural, sophisticated progression of ideas. For example, the transition between your current skills and the benefits to the company could be smoother with more varied cohesive markers.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'procurement process,' 'supply chain management,' and 'foreseeable future.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'request transfer' (should be 'a transfer') and 'future prospectus' (likely meant 'prospects'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your use of collocations and more sophisticated professional terminology would enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'request transfer to procurement department' should be 'a transfer to the procurement department') and minor punctuation issues. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on consistent article usage and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy. The closing 'Yours faithfull' also contains a spelling error that should be avoided in formal correspondence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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