Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to share my interest in working as finance team member od our organization. As I am working with this company for last two years as a sale team member. During this time I learned alot about customer buying behaviours, their spending pattern according to their family status, customer relations and so on.

In addition, while working as a team member their, I was also enrolled in the part time finance remote course with ABC university of Kurukshetra, I just got my transcripts from the university. Therefore, I want to moved in finance team where I can implement my knowleadge and skills, I learned in this course for the impovement of our organization.

I do not want to switch the job because this place is like home for me. I started my coorporate journey them this company. Furthermore, the staff and management of this organization are so friendly and supportive. This is the best this of the organization. Cnsequently, can you please transfer me into finance team.

I am hoping a postive response from you.

Your sincerly,

Sheebu

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer, and express your loyalty to the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal request to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is brief and could be more explicitly linked to the specific skills gained from your finance course. Overall, the response is relevant and fulfills the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition,' 'Therefore,' and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by mechanical errors and some awkward phrasing, such as 'This is the best this of the organization.' Additionally, the transition between the mention of your course and the request for a transfer is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'corporate journey,' 'transcripts,' and 'implement.' However, there are several spelling errors ('knowleadge,' 'impovement,' 'coorporate,' 'sincerly') and some word choice issues, such as 'sale team member' instead of 'sales team member.' While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider range of precise professional terminology to reach a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'I am working with this company for last two years' (should be 'have been working'), 'I want to moved' (should be 'want to move'), and 'I am hoping a postive response' (should be 'hoping for'). These errors are noticeable and occur frequently, though they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on verb tense consistency and correct preposition usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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