Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr Ram,

I am writing to express my concern regarding the shift to a new department in your industry, as it gives me a good chance to learn new skills and increase my productivity for the company.

Presently working as a co-worker in your automobile company, I learned many hands-on skills and all the details of different parts of the car. Apart from these, I also developed positive interaction qualities that help to attract consumers and several international traders.

However, it is not only a golden chance for me to join another sector of the organisation, as it led to my career development, but it is also beneficial for the company as I devoted my 6 years of employment to you with full dedication. So I have the right to get further opportunities in my future to reach to my potential. I assure you that if you appoint me as a Manager of the International Union, I will fulfil my responsibilities with full dedication and confidence, never letting you down. I want to stay with the same organisation as it identified my real strengths and supported me during my tough times.

I hope you will consider my suggestion and provide me with a new opportunity.

Thanking you,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer, and express your loyalty to the company. However, there is a significant inconsistency regarding your tenure: the prompt states you started two years ago, but you mention in the letter that you have 'devoted my 6 years of employment'. This contradiction impacts the task achievement as it suggests a failure to follow the provided scenario. Additionally, the tone is occasionally demanding rather than professional, particularly the phrase 'I have the right to get further opportunities', which is inappropriate for a formal request to a manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Paragraphing is used to separate the different requirements of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Apart from these', 'However', and 'So', which help the flow of ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as starting a sentence with 'So' in a formal letter. The connection between the ideas in the second paragraph could be smoother, as the shift from discussing car parts to international traders feels a bit abrupt. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'productivity', 'dedication', and 'responsibilities'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'concern regarding the shift' is an odd way to introduce a request for a transfer, as 'concern' usually implies a problem. 'International Union' is also vague and likely not the correct terminology for a department. Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'positive interaction qualities' instead of 'interpersonal skills'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'I assure you that if you appoint me... I will fulfil my responsibilities'. While you attempt complex sentences, there are several grammatical errors. For instance, 'as it led to my career development' should be 'as it would lead to' or 'as it leads to'. There are also minor errors in article usage and preposition placement, such as 'reach to my potential' (should be 'reach my potential'). Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the letter, and the mistakes do not significantly impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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