Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir,

i am working in your company long time . i want to inform you that i want to change or upgrade my department due to my improvement in my career.

No doubt, i learned a lot important things in my present jobs jobs role like as i am working as a sandwich artist at subway so i learned about good customers service, food safety rules and managing time skills .

however, it will going to benefit to your company because i have good skills that will be required in mananger post. it not only increases productivity of company but also i come up with new ideas always.

interestingly, i am working in this company for two years now so i have good reputation there as well as i enjoyed friendly environment there .

the main reason is the company is near to my home

your sincerly,

dear boss

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points: it mentions skills learned (customer service, food safety), suggests benefits to the company (productivity, new ideas), and explains why the writer wants to stay (reputation, environment, proximity). However, the development of these points is quite basic. For instance, the claim that you have skills for a 'manager post' is asserted without sufficient elaboration or professional justification. The tone is also inconsistent; while it attempts a formal structure, the language is often too informal or simplistic for a professional request to a manager. To improve, you should expand on how your specific experiences have prepared you for a new role.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For example, 'interestingly' is used inappropriately to introduce a point about job tenure, and 'however' is used to start a paragraph that does not actually contrast with the previous one. The flow between sentences is often disjointed due to the lack of varied linking words. To improve, focus on using transition signals that logically connect your ideas, such as 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' or 'In addition,' rather than relying on simple sentence structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic words like 'good' and 'things' (e.g., 'good customers service', 'good skills', 'important things'). There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'upgrade my department' instead of 'transfer to a different department' and 'mananger post' (spelling error). The range is sufficient to convey the basic message, but it lacks the precision and professional tone required for a formal business letter. Expanding your vocabulary to include more specific professional terminology would significantly enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('it will going to benefit'), article usage ('the company is near to my home'), and punctuation (lack of capitalization for 'i'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors. For example, 'it not only increases productivity of company but also i come up with new ideas always' is grammatically awkward. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, correct capitalization, and consistent verb tense usage. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and subject-verb agreement is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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