Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my interest in transferring to a different department within the company. Having worked in my current position for the last two years, I believe that moving internally would be an important step in my career development.

During my time in my present role, I have gained valuable experience not only in handling cretical condition but also learned rehabilitaion, which is effectively in my hand practice and gained knowledge about orthopedic disease. Moreover, I have also developed a storng communication skills and procedures of insurance.

I believe that transferring to another deoartment would not only allow me to broaden my professional skills but would also benefit the company, which is indirectly effect on sales of the company and also increase the number of patients. After that, I can easily apply latest treatment on patient that patient would recovery fatser.

I would like ti emphasise that I do not wish to leave the company because I genuniely value the opportunities and support I have recevied over the past two years.

I would be grateful if you consider my request and discuss any suitable opportunities with me.

Your Faithfully,

Hani

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, suggest how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explain your desire to remain with the firm. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how your transfer would benefit the company is a bit vague and repetitive. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended with specific examples or clearer logical links.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different requirements of the task. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'During my time', and 'I would like to emphasise' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the phrase 'After that' which does not flow naturally from the previous sentence. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'professional skills', 'transferring', and 'career development'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'cretical' (critical), 'rehabilitaion' (rehabilitation), 'storng' (strong), 'deoartment' (department), 'ti' (to), and 'genuniely' (genuinely). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To improve, you should focus on proofreading your work to catch these slips and attempt to use more precise collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'which is effectively in my hand practice' (which is effective in my clinical practice) and 'that patient would recovery fatser' (so that patients would recover faster). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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