Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
- say what you have learned in your present job
- suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
- explain why you do not wish to leave the company
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ....................................,
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Dear Mr Smith,
I am writing to request you to transfer me from accounts to marketing departement since I am feeling that I have enough experience to work with marketing team.
It has been two years since I am working on the same position as a junior accountant and during the time, I have developed my communication skills, clients relations and case handling methods, those are directly linked to marketing also. Because I have good relations and have build trust with our all the clients, I can help our company to lock new projects easily with them in the future. This may make the job less difficult for marketing team also may save their time and efforts.
I am not thinking to change the company to get a new experience because our company is fulfilling my all the requirents as promised. The staff and the management are also very friendly and co-operative. I hope you will consider my request and will forward my request form to the management.
I will look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Harpreet kaur
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have successfully addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outlined your current skills, explained the benefits of your transfer to the marketing department, and provided a positive reason for wanting to stay within the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, you could expand slightly more on the specific 'marketing' skills you hope to acquire or contribute, as the current explanation is a bit general. However, the purpose of the letter is clear and the response is well-focused throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use some cohesive devices like 'during the time' and 'because', though the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different points, and the overall progression of ideas is smooth and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, such as 'communication skills', 'case handling', and 'co-operative'. However, there are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'departement' (department), 'requirents' (requirements), and 'build' instead of 'built'. Additionally, the phrase 'lock new projects' is slightly informal; a more professional alternative would be 'secure new contracts'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate spelling and more precise professional collocations will improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'since I am feeling' (should be 'as I feel'), 'since I am working' (should be 'since I have been working'), and 'our all the clients' (should be 'all our clients'). These errors are frequent but do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To improve, pay closer attention to verb tenses, particularly the present perfect continuous for actions that started in the past and continue to the present. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures would also help elevate your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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