Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

Hope you doing well, Iam writing a letter about changing my current position with upgrade rank.So right now I am a permanent team member and I spend 2 years on this position I adapt how to deal with coustomers and how to make them happy. In this job i got lots of information to deal with coustomers and how we can rise our sale.

Furthermore, if company gives me a permotion then they do not need to pay for trainning because as now I already know the work very well. I completely know how to do inventory how to place orders for dairy products and how to incrase the sales rate. As a experienced worker I know all the policies so it is beneficial for company to explaning everything to the new employee rather than me it's save company's time.

Moreover, I spent numbers of years in this organise and now i am more familiar with this company i know the rules and regulation of this firm if i am moving to another company then i have to start my carieer in new way which consume more time so that's why i do not want to change the company.

Thanks for the understanding,

mohan.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points: what has been learned, the benefits to the company, and the desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, the explanation of why the company benefits from your move is slightly confused, as you focus on 'training' for a new department rather than the value you bring to that specific role. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it lacks the professional polish expected for a career development request. To improve, ensure that your arguments are more clearly linked to the specific goal of moving departments rather than just general job performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'Furthermore, if company gives me a permotion' is slightly awkward, and the use of 'so' as a primary connector is repetitive. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'it is beneficial for company to explaning everything to the new employee rather than me', where the logic is difficult to follow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the flow of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'coustomers', 'trainning', 'incrase', 'organise', 'carieer') and word choice issues, such as 'upgrade rank' instead of 'promotion' or 'career advancement'. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary prevents a more professional tone. You should focus on learning collocations related to business and professional development to improve your ability to express complex ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The letter contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Hope you doing well'), article usage (e.g., 'if company gives me'), and tense consistency. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of basic sentence construction and verb forms.

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