Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing this letter to request my transfer to the different department in our organization.

I am working as a registered nurse in the emergency department since last two years. I have learned a lot of skills such as rapid assessment, emergency case management and work under pressure. In addition, I have built strong foundation in making clinical diagnosis.

I want to move to the gynecology department. It will not only helpful for my growth and career development, but also benefit the gynecology department. I have a good skill to work in a fast-pace environment, it will be aid to handle obstetrical emergencies and other gynecological emergency cases precisely. Overall, it will be essential to fulfill the long-term goal of the patient-centered care.

I do not want to leave the organization because I am very comfortable here. Additionally, the management is very supportive, positive work environment and also it provides a lot of opportunities to grow within the institute.

Thank you for considering my request. I will wait to discuss this opportunity with you at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely

RN Mittu

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience in the emergency department, provide a logical justification for how your skills would benefit the gynecology department, and explain your commitment to the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, you could further develop the 'benefit' section by providing a more specific example of how your current skills translate to the new role, rather than just stating they would be 'an aid'. Overall, the response is well-focused and fulfills the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each requirement, and a professional closing. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Overall', and 'Additionally' to link your points. However, the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that transitions between sentences are smoother. For instance, the transition between your current skills and the move to gynecology feels slightly abrupt. Improving the variety of cohesive devices would enhance the overall readability and logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to communicate your ideas clearly, including professional terms like 'rapid assessment', 'emergency case management', and 'patient-centered care'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'I have a good skill to work' (should be 'I have the skills to work') and 'it will be aid to handle' (should be 'it will aid in handling'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over collocations. Expanding your vocabulary to include more sophisticated synonyms would help elevate your writing to a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. For example, 'I am working... since last two years' should be 'I have been working... for the last two years'. Additionally, there is a minor error in 'the management is very supportive, positive work environment', where the structure is slightly disjointed. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on verb tenses and sentence construction will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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