Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear manager,

I am writing you letter regarding move to cooking department from cleaning department, and I know it would be beneficial for your company. During this job I learned numerous things including cooperation ,collaboration with team members and how to maintain hygiene in restaurants. Moreover, learn problem solving skills from seniors and boost confidence by communicating with them.

There are number of merits would be brought. If you move me in cooking department because I have lot of experience like how to prepare different types of dishes including Spanish, Chinese, Indians and Mexican foods.Therefore, I can help to increase the income of your restaurant.

However, I have good coordination with my other employees who do work in cleaning department.But I need to change my department because it’s important for my career development, and I think I can get more income and promotion by doing cooking job.

I am waiting for your response.

Your sincerely,

Veerpal Kaur.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: skills learned, benefits to the company, and reasons for staying. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention learning 'cooperation' and 'hygiene', these points could be expanded with more specific examples of your current duties. The suggestion regarding the company's benefit is clear, but the explanation of why you wish to remain with the company is slightly underdeveloped and focuses more on personal gain (income/promotion) rather than loyalty to the organization. To improve, ensure each point is fully explored to provide a more professional and persuasive tone.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Therefore', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For example, the jump from discussing your current skills to the benefits of moving departments could be smoother. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'There are number of merits would be brought', which lacks a clear subject. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your message, covering topics like 'career development', 'collaboration', and 'hygiene'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'move to cooking department' (should be 'transfer to the cooking department') and 'doing cooking job' (should be 'working as a cook'). Some phrasing is also repetitive, and there are minor errors in word forms, such as 'Indians' instead of 'Indian'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise professional terminology and ensuring that collocations sound natural in a business context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the' is often missing), subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments. For example, 'I am writing you letter' should be 'I am writing to you regarding a letter' or 'I am writing to you regarding a move'. Additionally, 'There are number of merits would be brought' is grammatically incorrect. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency and accuracy of the writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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