Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

Good day to you. I am writing this letter to kindly request for a transfer from Project department to the Research department.

The past two years in the Project department has been fulfilling. I have developed my organizational and communication skill. When I first joined the company two years ago, I struggled with bringing my ideas into reality. Due to the strict working conditions of the project department, I was finally able to build my confidence. This resulted in an improvement in my working rate and delivery.

Moving to the Research department has always been my dream. I would like to put my organizational skill to good use. This skill is essential in the Research department for data collection and recording. A flawless data collection process will help in the implementation of accurate results and yield a good progress score for the company.

Over the past two years, I have grown to love the company and my fellow employees. For this reason, I do not wish to leave the company. Instead, I would like to transfer my knowledge into the Research department and place the company above others.

Thank you very much for your time. I will be awaiting your feedback on my request.

Yours faithfully,

Osahon Abigail

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly explain the skills gained in your current role, provide a logical justification for how the Research department would benefit from your transfer, and express your commitment to the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal request to a manager. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific examples of the 'organizational skills' you mentioned or elaborate slightly more on the specific nature of the research projects you hope to contribute to, which would further develop your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single theme, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use some cohesive devices such as 'For this reason' and 'Instead', which help connect your ideas. However, the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases to connect sentences more fluidly. Currently, some sentences feel slightly disconnected, and using more sophisticated cohesive devices would enhance the overall logical progression of your request.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fulfilling', 'implementation', and 'organizational'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'bringing my ideas into reality' is understandable but slightly unnatural; 'realizing my ideas' or 'implementing my ideas' would be more precise. Additionally, 'working rate' is a bit vague; 'productivity' or 'efficiency' would be more professional. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise business-related collocations would help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your meaning is always clear. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'The past two years... has been' (should be 'have been' to agree with the plural subject) and 'organizational and communication skill' (should be plural 'skills'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and pluralization. Incorporating more varied complex sentence structures, such as using conditional clauses or relative clauses, would also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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