Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I am writing this letter to inform you that, I am very grateful to work in this company. I have learned many important skills by working with 2 Sister's Poultry and meat Ltd. I learned how to work in a team, how to solve the big problems by consulting with your coworkers, and the most important skill to communicate politely on work place.

I would like to join the office department now, because it is very necessary for my career to do an office job. This would be beneficial for the company as well, because I have done the work in the warehouse so I know all the varieties of chicken meat. Hence, I can attract more customers to the company by explaining them more deeply than the new employees, as I have been working here for two years.

I do not want to leave the company, because I find this workplace very friendly to me as I have made good friends here and also this job can help me for building a great future ahead.

So, please consider my request and transfer me to the department as I mentioned above, this would be very helpful for me.

Yours sincere,

Manjot Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt effectively. You clearly state what you have learned, provide a logical reason why the company would benefit from your move, and explain your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal request to a manager. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, when mentioning the benefits to the company, you could provide a more specific example of how your warehouse experience would translate into increased sales or efficiency in the office department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each requirement, and a polite closing. Each paragraph focuses on a single theme, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'Hence' and 'because', though the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition to this'). The paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'career development', 'consulting', and 'beneficial'. However, there are some instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'do an office job' or 'explaining them more deeply'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and professional terminology. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, incorporating more sophisticated, topic-specific vocabulary would help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'I am very grateful to work in this company' (should be 'for the opportunity to work'), 'on work place' (should be 'in the workplace'), and 'Yours sincere' (should be 'Yours sincerely'). Additionally, there are some punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma after 'that'. Increasing your control over complex sentence structures and proofreading for minor errors will help improve this score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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