Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear David,

I am writing to you regarding my interest in the marketing department. I recently, attended the marketing strategy seminar and I believe it is a perfect sector that would help me display my knowledge and skills in that particular area .

To begin with, I would like to explain how much I have learned from the customer service department. It has taught me patients, good communication, and problem solving skills. Unfortunately, I am not able to express my forte of marketing techniques in the service sector, which has caused me to take a shift in my role.

Furthermore, I would appreciate if you could refer me for the position of marketing associate in our company. I believe this would give me a boost in my career and also benefit the company. The organization would not have to look for a new employee and they can also maintain the employee retention rate. I can contribute to the firm by proving to be a good asset.

Finally, I would like to express how much I want to stay in the same company and keep growing as a person. I have been here for the past 2 years and I wish to continue the same. Everyone from the top to bottom of the hierarchy have been extremely kind and generous in assisting me whenever I needed help.

Thank you for you time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Pearl Sequeira.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt. You clearly state what you learned in your current role (patience, communication, problem-solving), explain the benefits to the company (retention, internal expertise), and express your desire to remain with the firm. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, while you mention the marketing department, you could have provided more specific examples of how your current skills would translate directly to that role to make a more persuasive case. Overall, the task is fulfilled effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Finally' to guide the reader through your argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between the first and second paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, and the letter follows a standard professional structure, making it easy to follow throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'forte,' 'hierarchy,' and 'retention rate' correctly. There are some minor word choice issues, such as 'take a shift in my role' (which is slightly unnatural) and 'patients' (a spelling error for 'patience'). While you successfully convey your meaning, the vocabulary is functional rather than sophisticated. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations related to professional development and corporate environments, and ensure careful proofreading to avoid basic spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that slightly distract from the professional tone, such as 'I recently, attended' (unnecessary comma), 'Everyone... have been' (subject-verb agreement error, as 'everyone' is singular), and 'thank you for you time' (typo). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a lack of consistent control over complex structures. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage in complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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